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| Awareness. I believe that is a powerful thing. Vangaurd is becoming one of my new favorite t.v. shows. Its an all out documentary-- real, raw & informative. The journalists or reporters (not sure what the people who tackle these stories are properly called) go in depth on stories I do believe, as well as they do, that need to be heard. The most recent Vanguard episode I saw today was the sanitation crisis that affects the world in some remote places in India, Singapore, and Indonesia. Its definately a real eye-opener to watch what real people live through in such harsh conditions. Basically, these people don't have toilets-- that's it. Toilets-- something so simple, something people here in the Western Hemisphere take for granted. People in those places basically recycle their shit by eating, drinking & bathing in it after dumping it into the "river" that's supposed to benefit them... not harm them any further. One of the number one causes for death in those places was diarrhea. Again, that is something so simple.... something a pepto bismol can can take of right away, but over there people die from it everyday, because they are exposed to fecal matter everywhere they go. When they eat, sleep and breathe they can smell the scent of shit in the air. Its crazy.... horrible... but at least there are people who are making a difference in raising awareness & fixing the sanitation problems in some of these areas & I commend those individuals for everything that they do, because they are doing great things. I know.... I can't really do much but raise awareness about this unsettling topic. But really, in the end, that's kind of good enough. I appreciate a lot more things in my life by confronting my ignorance on the world's bigger issues. I don't think I ever truly appreciated my toilet or even public restrooms for that matter... People think public restrooms in our area are disgusting.... but they haven't seen the worst of it.... not at all. If there is no one defecating outside (which is considered normal in those areas) & a person isn't constantly dodging shit as they walk on the ground, then I believe that where I live is fine. It's not perfect, but it's definately fine. I defiantely appreciate where I live too....... because really..... it's by chance that I'm not some poverty stricken child that has a fatal case of diarrhea. I could've been born into any family.... it's not like those children wished to be born there, but that's just where they ended up being brought into. Appreciating what I have is good enough.... especially for right now, cause dammit if I had enough money to support my life & the lives of others who needed my help I definately would give a piece to them-- donations & such. But I'm also a realist...... I know what I have & what I don't....... But I am sure as hell thankful for what I do have, which others don't. & really, that's important..... awarenss....... opening your eyes........ being educated...... being well informed on matters that actually do matter. I believe, that's what these documentaries are supposed to make you do. I'm not going to be a little punk & just say "fuck it, I know the world sucks. so what" or a line I hear a lot, but resent "the news-- real news is so depressing & that's why I don't watch it." Honestly, I don't watch the news religiously, but I also won't make a narrow statement to stay comfortable in my ignorance just because it's "sad". Its sad, yes, but it is also real. & really, all the news does is just make people aware.... open their eyes.... and give people a look on the real world around them. To just have the feeling of being affected or moved by these real-life documentaries or news stories... that's enough. & I'm saying that because it's enough for me right now..... My goal isn't to be the next big humanitarian, but I do care about the human race...... if I didn't I wouldn't want to keep learning more & more about them, whether the information is good or bad. & like the people in Indonesia (I believe) said after one small village became open-defecation-free (everyone had a toilet): they do not expect a rapid change or a very fast change in their living condition.... but they do see a change. That change will happen slowly.... but it will happen surely. | | |
| .: Backstabber - The Dresden Dolls:. So, I just finished reading Miss O'Dell: My Hard Days and Long Nights with The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and the Women They Loved. Now, just from that title it is apparent that this woman has shared some pretty good moments with some of the most epic names in rock 'n' roll history. The book was sentimental, raw, and utterly interesting (I guess, only if you're the type of person who is interested in that stuff-- apparently I am) O'Dell had a backstage pass for life with a couple of high named rockstars. At first, I thought this book would be another smut book about a woman who has slept with every big name in rock history... Even though she had her share of some good lays; sex with a rockstar is not what she was after (thank God). My first impression of this book quickly changed as I started reading more and more of it. & the story (her story) turned out to be one hell of a tale. Throughout my periods of reading it, I started thinking about rock 'n' roll... I guess in ways people perceive it & how much it changed... & how much it's still changing. I don't know every bit of the history of rock 'n' roll, because that is one pretty damn long one... going all the way back to the 1950s... even further probably, the 1930s & 1940s. It amazes me that this style of music has been around for so long and has been revived time & time again. When I say revived, I think about how the generations have changed "rock music". I'm not too familiar with the very very early days of rock 'n' roll... I only know one Tina & Ike Turner song (probably their most popular one: "Proud Mary") and the rockability of Elvis Presley only goes as far as one greatest hits album in his jukebox days. So with my ignorance, I shall stop talking about the early days now. In the book she's in the rock 'n' roll scene of when The Beatles were almost at their end--- around 1969, 1970s-1980s. That scene I believe is more tanglible to my mind, because even though I wasn't alive back then, my parents were.... & there's a stronger connection to those decades because of that--- it doesn't seem too far away for me to relate. & nowadays... when people think "rock 'n' roll" they usually think of The Beatles or The Stones... usually. When I think "rock 'n' roll" an attitude always comes to my mind..... Almost as if "rock" is not only associated with the music, but also with the "attitude" that comes with it. Rock music has this confrontational attitude that is usually related to the "fuck you" attitude. I believe this concept has been created around my time... or maybe when The Stones were big.... because, when I think about it, not all rock musicians are like that. I never got a "fuck you" vibe while listening to The Beatles, & they're big names in the "rock industry" (even though that industry has changed... they're still praised for they did do) I guess that's why I'm listening to The Dresden Dolls right now. The Dresden Dolls has made some really good punk-rock-cabaret music when they were still a band. They amaze me in a way that their music does kind of have that "fuck you" attitude in it & they have paradoxes in their songs. For example, some of their song lyrics would be serious & problematic, dealing with topics about date rape & abuse... but then they mind fuck you with an upbeat catchy rhythm & then you find yourself bopping your head to the song & singing along while realizing "man, that sucks". It's that complication in their music that really gets me interested--- I believe that is really their "big fuck you". Music & art in general give artists that freedom & when they express it, it amazes me. The Dresden Dolls' lyrics are raw, real, witty & intelligent. & then they weave those words with the music that sometimes contradicts their words & it's very intriguing. It's contradiction....... contradictions amuse me..... but only when used in creative ways. Things that just leave listeners or the audience in awe, because something is just "not right", or not right in society's standards. I remember that in my Music in Film class, my great professor mentioned how the music in movies can really affect the film. Even though the dialogue is number one, the music really helps to build that dramatic flair or lack thereof. She mentioned this one scene (damn, I forgot in what movie--- I didn't see it) that this man was about to get shot/killed & a little boy was witnessing it... probably the character's son? & the hitman put on headphones on the boy's ears & the song that was playing was from The Wizard of Oz (a happy song) & while the man is getting murdered, that song plays in the backgroud-- TOTALLY contradicting the whole scene. Amazing. I wish I saw that movie.... I wish I remembered the effing title. Also, Meret Oppenheim's Object is another great example of great contradictions that I love. Basically, it's a fur-covered mug, spoon and saucer. It sounds gross & looks disturbing, as it should because Oppenheim really fucks with the viewer's senses by confusing the sense of touch with the sense of taste. Genius. I really don't know where I'm going with this post...... but this is what I was thinking.... So much for a book review. One thought just led to another............ | | |
| .: Just Impolite - Plushgun :. "Friday night became so lonely,
When you came to make a break,
That seemed to take all day to make me angry 'cause I
Like you, maybe I'm just Like You
Holding on to something that we know we cannot hold or fold
it seems we just can't forget
Are you frightened, by perfection?
Is this who you are, not who you want to be,
I walk the line like Johnny Cash
I made the bus in seconds flat
I called your line too many times
I'm not obsessed, just impolite.
Sunday came and went so quickly
now you say you want me back
you will hold on, despite my cons,
it seems we're meant to hate it
Being so dependent.
But it seems we can’t believe that we're two peas in this pod
we call New York, gets so lonesome.
Are you frightened, by neglect ion?
Am I who you want to see yourself to be?
I walk the line like Johnny Cash
I made the bus in seconds flat
I called your line too many times
I'm not obsessed, just impolite
You're stuck on me, you don't know why
Can't leave me anytime you try
They say that everybody cries
so don't think twice 'cause it's alright.
Stay here,
touching you, touching the light in your eyes
that keeps coming back" | | |
| .: Poison - Shiny Toy Guns :. This song strangely reminds me of Phantom........ actually-- not strangely, I have notcied that more & more songs I listen to remind me of Phantom. I guess I'm still letting the book sink into my head; I'm soaking it all up & seeing Phantom references everywhere! (well, mostly in music) Very strangely, I have developed a liking to the total fop-- aka. Raoul. (in the book only) He really did belong to Christine & he really REALLY did love her (in all the right ways). The Phantom in the book was seriously mad, but really.... I can't blame him. One, he was supposably born with a horrible (ugly) deformity. A deformity SO atrocious that no one could bear to look at him. How. Sad. -- to live in a world where no one accepts you, just because of your appearance; because other than that, the man was a complete genius & had an enticing voice that raptured anyone who listened. So why didn't he get the girl at the end? Well, he did mistreat her.... He didn't get the girl not because of his physical ugliness.... I thought about it after I finished reading the book around 1am..... He didn't get the girl because the man didn't love himself. This thought came about when I thought of RuPaul's famous quote: "If you do not love yourself, how the hell are you going to love anyone else" That quote has nothing but truth in it. The real reason why the Phantom was so miserable is because he didn't love himself. But, I can see why he didn't-- he never knew what love felt like, from anyone. His mother didn't even love him. He was feared more than anything & was often called "the monster". It was so sad reading the end of the ghost's love story, mainly because you can see/read/feel his vulnerablity & his humanity--- something that had been stripped away from him throughout the story. People have forgotten that the Phantom was an actual man. Erik (aka. Phantom) described to the Persian how Christine let him kiss her & she did not die. Those are powerful words. He thought that his affection to any other human being (a human being part of the human race in which he shunned for their cruelty) would kill them! how saaaaad! He described his state of shock. He was shocked that Christine was still there & was still alive. It's so sad to think that this poor, unfortunate man thought that his affection could kill another being, because he believed himself to be a monster. This goes back to my point, that Erik's struggles with himself is what really held him back from the love he always wanted (also, trying to get a girl who was already in love with someone else). If you believe that you are monster, other people will see that & believe it also (usually). In the Phantom's case, Christine thought he was horrible, but something inside of her saw a bit of beauty.... if not that, then just total sympathy (but I do believe she did care for him). All he wanted was a wife, just like everybody else. A wife he can cherish & love & take out on Sundays. He wanted a house, above the ground--- a nice little flat in Paris--- just like everybody else. He wanted to love & be loved in return, just like everybody else. Oh man, I love Gaston Leroux.....! That story was epic & effing real. The man is a historian & cited all his information. I can't wait to chat with him in my next life. LOL. " Stranger than you dreamt it
Can you even dare to look
or bare to think of me:
this loathsome gargoyle, who burns in hell,
but secretly yearns for heaven,
secretly... secretly... " - ALW | | |
| .: The (After) Life Of The Party - Fall Out Boy :. " I'm a stitch away from making it
And a scar away from falling apart, apart
Blood cells pixelate
And eyes dilate
Kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all my friends " .... well, I guess you can say, that's exactly what I did today. Not literally.... but I did forget my recent troubles by being with my friends & having a good time. It was a good temporary remedy for the accident nature has inflicted upon me.... Today, my life did not flash before my eyes. Today, after I looked up at the shattered windshield & realized I was still alive... Today, when I got home & went down on both knees on my bed side.... ... I just thought... wondered why I was still alive. Why did He save me? There has to be a purpose.... I guess it just wasn't my time. I was lucky. I know that. Things could've been 10x worse.... I even thought of how.... This song has been on repeat since I got out of the shower & rinsed off all the blood & glass on me.... I'm really not that injured.... even mentally... I'm fine. It makes me wonder..... these bad things do have to happen to some people, why not it be me? With everything I've ever gone through (car-wise), I surprise myself that I'm not traumatized. Maybe He believes I can take it.... that's why it happened to me. I'm not really questioning mother nature or why the government doesn't fix it's property.... but I'm seeing a better reflection of myself & life as I know it.... I see my strength, but also my weakness, as I figured out why I may not be traumatized..... I see the people who really care.... (it'd be nice if my parents asked me about my well-being -- aka. if I was "okay". I mean physically, it's obvious I'm fine.... but.... it just would've been nice to hear them ask me a question that didn't pertain to the car only-- "what happened to it & where it is now") There are two people, who I knew cared the most... I really appreciate that... & I really do love them, I really would miss them if they were gone... Today, as I bent down on my knees & thanked God I was alive.... I told Him, I would live whatever path I chose. I told Him, that life passes by so quick, that I only have time to do what I wanted.... & as I type now, I'm telling Him that I will go wherever I must & thank Him along the way. I say I have very bad luck.... I do. But I am lucky to be alive. " Cut it loose
Watch you work the room " | | |
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